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She Walks In StarlightUntitled Document
Anonymous: Are you still taking requests? I love your art so much, it’s magical. How do you feel about Fleetwood Mac’s Landslide? Maybe Tori Amos’s cover...
Vintage Little Shop of Horrors Stickers Ranked by Rick Moranis’ Sex Appeal
Hi, I’m Roswell, and I’m horny for Rick Moranis.
Recently, my friend Pat sent me a fuckload of Little Shop of Horrors stickers from 1986.
Each pack contains a piece of thirty year old bubble gum.
It tastes really bad.
But we’re not here to talk about my mistakes; we’re here to talk about God’s mistake–the mistake of making me so incredibly attracted to Rick Moranis.
Let’s begin.
This Rick Moranis is not very sexy at all. He clearly doesn’t want that thing in his mouth. The lack of consent immediately turns me off, but I will give him one point for kissable lips. 1/10.
A reasonably fuckable Moranis. He’s doing that Vaudeville rubberface thing that I’m big into, but this outfit could’ve used some shoulder pads and his hair looks kinda greasy. 3/10.
The doe eyes. The pouty lips. The loose curls stuck to his forehead with nervous sweat. Truly this would be a tremendously boneable Ricky M. were it not for the fact that I am very anti-gun. 4/10.
His nonthreatening posture and gentle smooch make me feel like he would tenderly nurture our many children. Thinking about having kids kills my boner. 5/10.
A classic Rick! This kind of goofball acting is what makes him so loveable. He looks like a math teacher who just realized he forgot Pi Day and that’s what does it for me, I guess. 7/10.
The rumpled collar and patented Moranis Confused Face really get me going, but the caption makes me think of someone with a Brooklyn accent screaming, “The X-Files!” while falling down a well. 8/10.
Oh, what I wouldn’t give to push Rick Moranis into a dentist’s chair and fill his cavities. I think this scene made me gay. 10/10.
I have experienced an erection lasting longer than four hours and need to seek immediate medical attention. 11/10.
